During the 90s, the bogan’s knowledge of Hip Hop was limited to US-produced recordings, which were strictly gangsta in nature. West Coast rappers Dr. Dre, Tupac Shakur and Snoop Dogg were favourites, the bogan identifying with the theme of anti-authoritarianism, the incessant bragging, tales of violent belligerence, open misogyny, and the pervading sense of ascendant machismo apparent in artists of this ilk. Having little in its personal history allowing it to relate to daily life in hardscrabble South LA, the bogan’s imagination was nonetheless piqued by the artists’ description of life on the street, and their connection to organised crime. Despite its often racist views on the home front, in the 90s, the bogan spent countless hours in front of the mirror pretending to be a black American gang member. White rapper Eminem’s emergence provided the bogan with a welcome respite from this fanciful routine, and he was widely adopted as a bogan mascot.
Unbeknownst to the bogan, a home-grown Hip Hop scene was well-established by this time, as local MCs, DJs, graffiti artists and b-boys began to forge an Australian take on the culture. Aussie Hip Hop music first came to the bogan’s attention with the spectacular success of long-standing Adelaide outfit The Hilltop Hoods, whose 2006 release ‘The Hard Road’ displaced a Ben Harper record to debut at the top of the ARIA charts. The bogan quickly learnt that it could get all its fronting, beefing and battle rap requirements not only from white people, but also from an Australian source, delivered in an accent that sounded a bit like Robbo blueing with his missus. Inevitably, the bogan developed a huge Jones for Aussie Hip Hop – the description of Australian suburbia stimulated its ‘Aussie Pride’, and provided an opportunity for the bogue to lay yet another dubious claim on another country’s culture. The bogan loved the combination of feeling simultaneously gangsta-tough and patriotic by playing this music, and soon it was heard blasting from the sound systems of countless Chevrolet Commodores, which had so recently only announced the imminent arrival of the Vengabus.
There are some things which complicate the bogan’s love of Aussie Hip Hop. As is often the case with popular music, the lyrical content can occasionally verge on exhibiting a social conscience – sometimes even to the point of political correctness gone mad. This will madden, confuse and frustrate any bogan who ventures to deconstruct the meaning within an Aussie Hip Hop rhyme scheme. For this reason, the bogan’s wallet will customarily yield only to Aussie rappers on the ‘chicks, beer and barbies’ end of the spectrum, which explains why the Hilltop Hoods are such a roaring success in the bogan market. It also annoys the bogan that, unlike their once-beloved West Coast gangsta rappers, Aussie Hip Hop tends to eschew the promotion of violence which so successfully stimulated the bogan’s punch-on gland in the 90s. Luckily, the bogan needs little encouragement to perform maxtreme acts of violence, and any hip hop beat will generally elicit the required pavlovian response.
LOL. I believe they prefer the term Aussie “friggin'” Hip Hop.
One day I would like to tour Toorak to find you and I’m sure I wouldn’t have a problem… all I have to do is listen to the mad cackle as you seem to “LOL” in every post you make!
LOL. I assure you you would have a problem. I’d ensure the gates to the ground were locked and security was on high alert. The rumble of your Chevrolet Commodore on its fully sick 20’s would provide ample warning of your arrival.
😀
Well being the lefty inner city pinko that I am you’re more likely to hear the squeak of my bike.
(Living in Balwyn is not a choice, just a necessity given the lack of available housing in the inner city!)
LOL. What lack of availability of housing in the inner city? I myself own many homes in the inner city. I’ve never had any trouble buying them.
Sorry to hear about your mode of transport. Don’t worry too much, I’m sure you’ll be in a position soon to make the next leap in your predictable evolution – to a used Subaru Forrester.
Hee hee – have to get my license first!
LOL. Small steps then. Proceed to getting a basket for the front and an orange flag for the back of your bipedal velocitor.
Next pay day I’m looking to get this little beauty:
http://dhssek.shop.crossroads.se/carrie-bicycle-basket
Rest assured Daddy is looking to get me a little flat in Northcote
LOL. You’ll definitely need the used Subaru Forrester then.
I love when your 2 personalities clash 😛
LOL. How so?
I love Fiona of Toorak she makes me ‘LOL’ *shudder*
I imagine she’s probably just like me in real life and we’d get on famously!
LOL. What could I possibly have in common with a bong smoking, bicycle riding, lesser suburb living communist like yourself?
Aside from our shared love of commenting on this board.
I was just about to say the same thing
*shudders* now that’s why i can’t stand most people who pose as residents of northcote.
Maybe you’ll meet a nice girl and settle down
don’t worry about the LOL monkey (fiona), she’s too dumb to realise what it’s (LOL/EL-O-EL) really about, even though she’s apparently an oxford master grad.
I thought ‘Skip Hop’ was the parlance of our times.
LOL. Happy to stand corrected. Hip Hop was unknown in days of yore, hence the reason we skipped (pun intended) it in my higher degree in the Classics.
Actually, it wasn’t so much as unknown as labelled differently – back then, it was just called “talking”.
I thought it was Skip Hop ? (as in Skippy, Skippy, Skippy the bush kangaroo … Oh that hurt)
Location: Toorak? I hardly think you cunts should be commenting on bogans. Yes thats right i said cunts. Something i am sure will appear in your next blog of infinite bogan wisdom. How would it be that as a said bogan i am earning over 250k a year before i even take into consideration the investment properties accumulating wealth. I like the Hilltop hoods, i like Urthboy, Hunter, Bias B, Mantra, Funkoars etc. I drive a holden HSV yes it is a holden, not a chevrolet (that is only the brand of engine – a subsiduary company of GM motors). It has 20″ rims, a straight through exhaust and a stereo that frightens small children into crying.
And my question is what is the problem with this? What is so wrong about being this person you have labelled as a bogan? Furthermore who has given you the right to provide such social commentary. What qualifications do you have?
Yeah youse cunts, what farkin’ qualifications do youse got?
LOL. Well, for starters, they don’t have the moniker “Davo”.
and spell the word ‘subsidiary’ rather than subsiduary’.
Haha, look, we caught a live one.
Bragging about earning 250k and driving a piece of shit poormans sports car, ROFLMAO. No one gives a shit if it’s a HSV, it’s a fucking holden. No one cares about your fucking stereo except the other bogans that want to flog it. With 250k you could have easily bought something with style or had an engineer build up a classic for you. But you chose to be maxxtreme.
Ties in heavily with bogans’ love of maxxtreme sound sytems and only knowing the words to the chorus. Local black rap is out unless it is of the Yothu Yindi variety of acceptance.
LOL. Ernie Dingo should do a blackfella rap. And he can sample those kids who jump off the bridge, catch a fish and put it in the fridge. After all, M.I.A. did it, so the boganic wheel comes full circle yet again.
Hahahaha… The Wilcannia Mob vs. Ernie Dingo. Instant classic.
How does the bogan feel about the Hilltop Hoods collaborating with the Adelaide Symphony Orchestra? On the one hand, it’s all kutcha’d and shit, but on the other hand, orchestras are for poofs. It must be terribly confusing to be a bogan at times.
LOL. I wonder how the Hilltop Hoods will feel about the people in the front row of THAT show?
Well Fiona, considering the Hilltop Hoods have already done THAT show, which they called “the hard road restrung”, I’d say they felt pretty good about the people there.
LOL. Really? I can only assume my Social Organiser realised I’d have no interest in such an abomination and threw my invitation out without informing me. I must thank her.
did any one turn up?
I believe (but don’t quote me) that it was a sell out crowd
It would be a different kind of nosebleed section.
*sniff*
the bogan with a bit of ‘hipster edge’ would love this sort of ‘groundbreaking collabo’
Meatloaf did it – king of the old school bogues, so the new school would have a remnant appreciation I’m sure
The bogans had already had a taste for this via the hugely popular Metallica/San Fransico Symphony Orchestra album.
Confession time: I have that DVD. And I LOVE IT!
*scuttles under desk, dons tinfoil hat, assumes foetal position*
and you dare comment on Kraftwerk ! 🙂
Me too, Tomba. It’s one of my favourite live DVDs of all time.
Although I take it The Herd are out of the question seeing as the bogan is so vehemently anti-intellectual!
I think it depends on which Herd song your talking about… Something like the King is Dead actually sounds very anti bogan as they lay the boot into some very big bogan institutions.
Well the general themes of anti-Howard, pro-refugees and surely the bogan would never condone the burning of the flag?!
(Although it would love to burn down the Parliament for no good reason other than that it’s XTREEEEEEME!)
It’s important to remember that, although the bogan may like hip-hop (or, what appearing to like it does for their bogan image & cred), it will never understand it, or what it means to its creators. This, in fact, applies to any other form of music, art or creative effort.
You are of course assuming that the bogans actually listen to the words…
LOL. Well, we know they listen to the chorus(es).
Exactly. Regurgitation is an important part of bogan culture. Footy scores, power-to-weight ratios, other people’s accomplishments, jokes and anecdotes and enough words of the chorus to make it seem as if one knows the song.
Not to mention bulimia!
Why not? It condones vomiting all over it after passing out?
Yes, The Herd are very intellectual. AHHHHHH SCALLOPS!!!!
with dollops of flavour on top.
i swear i only heard that song once, but it really does stick in the memory.
Same here. I think you only need to hear it once and it is then branded into your brain, slowly eating away at your brain cells until you become one of them. Gabba gabba hey.
because you’re totally intellectual n’ stuff
“The bogan loved the combination of feeling simultaneously gangsta-tough and patriotic by playing this music, and soon it was heard blasting from the sound systems of countless Chevrolet Commodores, which had so recently only announced the imminent arrival of the Vengabus.”
HaHa Gold! Make me laugh out loud at work.
I have been waiting for this day since the TBL blog commenced. I’m just a little overwhelmed right now…
I blame jjj, Australian media content laws and Biggie Smalls.
Me too.
Pathetic little wiggers are everywhere – you can go to the most remote town in this wide brown land and as you drive in you’ll be treated to the sight of ar$e-crack from half-slung jeans anchored by a belt sporting a replica 9mm pistol buckle, a Fitty-sen T and a puffy jacket even if it’s 43deg.
Anyone remember the Dunt Rap from Chris Lilley’s We Can Be Heroes? Says it all, really: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52udEv3vn5w
Don’t forget the white baseball cap, Tombarina! Though that often makes them easy targets for snipers, so the caps are probably a blessing in disguise.
God I hate wiggers.
tee hee hee.. I quite like Aussie hip hop, one of my guilty Bogan pleasures!
LOL. You left the word “many” out.
LOL oh tres witty… I’m cut to the quick.
LOL.
Cut to the quick,
Fiona’s fully sick.
At the manse down in Toorak,
She be beatin’ da boys off wid a stick.
*Peace out*
Mad skills Fiona!
LOL. Now raise your glass to the Queen of the Bar!
And….
*glass*
Fi,
be careful
They may just raise their Bar to the Queen !
F.R. Fiona Rickard?
LOL. Indeed. Took all day for someone to make the connection. Well done, sir!
I’m actually somewhat ashamed to know that song. Grandmaster Flash, Public Enemy, NWA all rapped about social issues. Phrase raps about changing his name to Jimmy Rickard.
considering the bogue by any other name page i’d say that a person changing their name will be a social issue some day soon.
I thought it was Draft…
No he doesn’t, Drapht does.
But hey, who needs the facts when you’re trying to look smart?
that song is by Drapht you fuckwit
Seven months later, someone’s got their knickers in a real twist. TBL
LOL Two things:-
1. The song is called “JIMMY RECARD” – LOL!
&
2. LOL Phrase didn’t write or record Jimmy Recard, “DRAPHT” did LOL
LOL
LOL You lot are the most hateful, close minded, arrogant, ignorant fuckhead scum I have EVER come across online. LOL I really do hope the majority of you fall and break an ego or two. LOL
I’m the same, I like aussie hip hop, but I also listen to stuff which hasn’t made it’s way into the top 40 charts.
Spot on TBL!
I happen to live halfway up the hill that Hoods claim to be on top of.
Growing up here I spent “countless hours” in the 90’s watching local boys “battling” at parties and at school. The ubiquitous bong propping up their mad free-stylings. That the Hilltop Hoods are the ultimate distillation of this mad crew is no surprise.
(but seriously, go boys!)
*sigh* I’d love to be propping a bong right now…
chubbyasaboy.
http://www.facebook.com/thingsboganslike?ref=nf#!/photo.php?pid=68636&id=100000903499458
d’oh.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?pid=68636&id=100000903499458
oh forget it.
Awwww
LOL. You know what Chubby’s doin’, he’s smoking a joint!
LOL. Correction: “blazin'”.
Fi,
Chubby’s just “Smoking”
Ha nice work Kemosabe
Edna, if you watched “We can be hero’s” do you remember the twin bogan boys from Adelaide who would “Battle rap ‘n’ shit”? MUHAHAHAHA
Said it before, and I’ll say it again: tragic little wiggers.
Yes Pinky, yes I do.
Very funny indeed.
Oh the memories.
😀
I think you need to go to Chubby country.
🙂
out here in Eltham, there is an abandoned car that has a ‘Support Aussie Hiphop’ and an X-treme ‘Obese Records’ sticker on it. It got one of these fluro tow-away stickers on it but they haven’t towed it yet.
LOL. I have a serious question about Hip Hop that I’m sure you good people *cough* will be able to help me with.
Perhaps the answer is well known, but with my limited exposure to it, I haven’t heard it.
Is it at all possible to wave your hands in the air like you DO care?
I’m sure it’s possible, Fiona. The reason you wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care, is purely syllabic.
LOL. Waving “your hands in the air like you just do care” satisfies your syllabic requirements though. Perhaps it fails in the anti-authoritarian ones?
Do we throw our “sets” in the air now?
Our our guns?
*Or*
aah, that makes perfect sense Tombarina.
“Dum diddy dum diddy diddy dum dum
Throw yo’ set in the aiiiiir
Wave it around like you just don’t care…”
Yeah, I like Cypress Hill. What of it, carnt?
‘just do care’ doesn’t really make much sense. And we all know that making sense is high on the priority list of hip-hoppers.
That’s how we queers wave at sailors – yoo hoo!
Viv,
the other greeting is
“Hi honey, I’m home”
“Hi honey, I’m home, who’s that bit of fluff?”
“Where did you pull the skank”
probably works just that little bit quicker
i’ve often wondered about the waving your arms thing myself. personally, i think it a bit contradictory – if you don’t care, why would you bother putting your arms up and waving them around? and what exactly is a non-caring arm wave?
Hohohohohohohoho to non-caring arm wave!
I think they may be referencing the joyous sense of abandonment, which comes when you lift your arms up and move them.
Try it yourself, driving a bus, making a cake, putting the finishing touches on that report, let it go. Wave them around. Doesn’t that feel better?
I prefer to wave my arms like “I couldn’t give a fu#k” and then glass someone
That works Viv!
Whilst glassing I think screaming c*nt at everyone is quite fitting.
Its a classic diversion glassing technique I teach in the 2nd class of my new combined Maxmartial Arts short course.
That sounds like xXxtreme awesomeness Viv!
I think incorporating spitting on others in conjunction with the glassing and the c*nting is a winning combo.
Life skills to the MaxXxtreme.
And it focuses on surprise attack techniques- xtreme Ninja style – one casually Bollywood Dances ones way over to the solitary Indian student before spitting and c#nting at them (that’s lesson 3) . Being a master of deception and a weekend short course in the healing arts of Reiki allows the she-bogue to glass bitches who rooted her man while they relax. So many practical applications.
Sound very creative and so very practical indeed.
Maybe playing some Aussie Hip Hop as a warm-up to a session will be handy to incite violence in the bogue.
You will make a killing.
I see you being very rich and stuff.
where do I sign Viv, never dunn a courz befah.
Courses start real soon, just as soon as i’ve set up the Lapole Belly SeXXXtreme Fitness Hens nights I will get onto the MaXXtreme MiXXXed Martial Arts Ninja Training Short Courses. Look out for a franchise near you real soon! Full fees payable upfront. I’m onto these bogans not being able to complete a full 2 hour saturday course!
Discount for TBL peeps? MUHAHAHAHA
TBL peeps are allowed to watch for free. Gold coin donation appreciated. I only want to fleece CUBs !
🙂 hehehehe
alright edna, i’ll give it a go…
waving…
egads you’re right! from now on i’m filled with reckless abandon.
…and a big $hout Out to reckless abandon.
I’m all for the arm waving. When an entire room full of people are waving their arms like they just don’t care when prompted by the on stage performers, there’s a real sense of community. You can really feel that everyone just doesn’t care.
It’s the jumping in the air I can’t stand for. (See what I did there?)
Champagne comedy Shirley!
Love it.
Waving arms right now
Maybe we can install the acronym WARN into the modern interwebs lexicon, to indicate our position on statements we ‘just don’t care’ about.
That sounds cool!
I’m going to wave my arms when I say it.
I reckon caring, or lack thereof, has nothing to do with it.
I blame stupid, stupid English one-hit a$$hats Escape Club for their stupid song Wild Wild West with the line “put your hands in the air and march ’em up and down”. People have been doing it ever since.
Oh dear.
So many asshats, so little time.
I liked that song. Mind you I was only 11 or so.
You’re a bit happier today Marty. Good to see 😀
Must be the results of my revenge against the bogue 😀
Good to hear! Was there any glassing? Or just pointing and laughing 😉
Er no. Just this site really. Unfortunately the bogue has done pretty well for himself thanks to the mining and housing boom.
If I were to glass all of them I’d be the Martin Bryant of glassing.
it was exciting at the time as we we’re heading for the nineties AND living in the wild wild west.
I blame Cameo, Word Up:
“Wave your hands in the air
Like you don’t care, glide by
The People as they start to look and stare. ”
Love that song. Don’t mind the Hilltop Hoods either. Not every song, but some of them are good.
I think means that you are supposed to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care that you look like a fucking idiot.
bit too long and doesn’t fit with the beats, though.
Australia doesn’t have enough conflict for good hiphop, i think
but i don’t know much about rap
Morganics and Macromantics hang around the local poetry scene. Morganics is an utterly irritating smug guy… Macromantics is fun
I do like the melodies of Macromantics but I must say she has some very cringey moments.
Brimstone, I had an ex once who said that African American rap music really “spoke” to him, he understands where they are coming from, you know with all that he had to go through.
My response was yeah must have been really hard growing up on the Boulevard in Ivanhoe (vic) and going to a private school and being picked up in a flippin’ Porche, I made him promise to never say that statement again, particularly if I am around.
We broke up shortly after…:)
I thought Vanilla Ice opened the door for white rap with that hilarious Ice Ice baby crap, not Eminem?
LOL. And let’s not forget the wonderful contribution “Snow” made to the “toasting” sub-genre with his seminal hit “Informer”. 😐
All predated by the Beastie Boys, Viv. (They were great, actually….)
*missing hyphen in ‘pre-dated’ – otherwise reads like the Beasties feasted on Vanilla Ice, Eminem, et al. And the Beasties are wayyyyy too cool to go near those sad little wiggers*
I still love the Beasties Tombarina, is that bogan?
No. And if anyone says so, Shirl, Viv and you can glass ’em. I’ll be busy sitting back in moral judgement.
So true, i didn’t want to put them in the same category though. was hoping they could go unnoticed
enought to make you “hopping ” mad
Actually I believe Blondie was the first white rapper – and first female. Bless her
Took me a moment – “rapture ” was the blondie song though
Who would have thought a cocaine addled string of garbled nonsense about eating cars and guitars would have led us to this discussion today?
Sung by a former playboy bunny no less.
LOL. I propose to you that given their effort:
“And you get in your car and you drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and lands on the ground
And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he’s got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you’re in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin’ cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercuries and Subarus
And you don’t stop, you keep on eatin’ cars
Then, when there’s no more cars”
White rapping:
1) should have ceased forever, there and then, and
2) hasn’t really progressed much.
😐
Fiona – it was a “Concept Album” – doesn’t that excuse all manner of mediocrity?
LOL. Yes. But not its plethora of successors.
Blondie were a band…not just one person
Yes I know Debbie Harry was the singer of the band, just being lazy. Haven’t forgotten Chris Stein, Clem Bourke etc.
The Beasties are the reason I like this genre at all.
Me too NSM!!
ARE great. Thank you.
True. Sorry!
“so recently only announced the imminent arrival of the Vengabus” — brilliant.
i’m almost unhappy with the inclusion of that sentence, if only because that song is one of the most evil things ever inflicted on humankind and i have tried to rid myself of all memory of it for over a decade.
We’re going to eat pizza!
Let’s not forget that album Chopper made… He probably deserves his own entry though.
Ooh good call, I forgot about that masterpiece
Skip-Hop! What a term! Almost as good as Aussie-Swazzie! 77% by the Herd must be very confusing for them.It’s a very subversive track.
LOL.
STOP!
Collaborative freestyle time…
“Let’s go back to the time of Hoges,
Givin’ Aussie Pride to the bogues.
Dealing with trouble and strife?
Mate, “that’s not a knife!”…
I pass the baton on to someone else with the suggestion that the theme be the evolution of the flannelled up bogue to today’s, well-described TBL bogue.
‘Straya’s had bogans for a real long time,
they’ve only recently learnt how to rap’n’rhyme.
We’re gonna tell you a story so you won’t be guessin’,
Skip Hop’s gonna give y’all a history lesson.
LOL. ‘
*Insane scratching interlude*
Chicka-chicka-boom-boom
I’ve been milkin’ a cow and draggin’ a plough,
the thirst for ale, I got it right now.
Once upon a time a bogue would down a vic bitter,
now locally brewed imported is better.
Shirley, with talent like that you will be unearthed by triple j in no time at all. You wont be able to visit a regional town again with hordes of teen bogues hassling you.
Or you could go on tour with Nacho Pop , visiting McDonalds Outlets across the country promoting the fine arts of white rapping and krumping
Oh yeah. Because my mad freestylin’ skillz are matched only by my wicked as krumping skillz. Word.
LOL. It’d be wonderful to visit a dancery and gets my crunk on with you Shirley.
I’ve never been to a dancery Fiona. Is it like a night club for rich people?
LOL. No, it’s an urban South Central LA type dance club where people can get all crunk up on it.
The prerequisite for entry is that you leave all your beefs at the door, as they don’t like no hateration in their dancery.
Should one wear fancery to the dancery, or smart casual?
That wouldn’t be a problem for me. I’d toast myself on a cocktail of designer drugs. I believe that’s the best way to abolish hateration.
LOL. Either is fine, so long as the minimum amount of Ed Hardy or Pandora Charms are displayed. Or preferably both.
LOL. Studies have shown that “glassings per capita” are lower in danceries and this is believed to be as a direct result of a lower hateration quotient.
Are there gang related dance-offs like in Beat Street? Should I bring a cardboard box to lay in the floor? Will Wanda Dee be there? Is it BYO ghetto blasters ..Why do I have so many questions?
LOL. It’s not like the old days, when dancing meant just bringing a piece of cardboard to a suitable street corner.
Will we be ladies dancing like hos?
LOL. Sort of. I’ll be a lady dancing like a lady, you’ll be a ho dancing like a ho.
Beeyatch moves are optional, for ladies and hos alike
Shirley,
Dancery is night club for old people,
how i know this?
My nan frequents one..
Hmm maybe ill ask her about u Fiona.. i bet you two have met. :d
In days of yore, bogan weapons were blunt,
Now the nu-bogue screams “I’ll glass the c*nt!”
MaxXxtreme violence is the Bogue’s way of life,
Along with anal burglary of the wife
Bravo!! Author! Author!
Steeeeyyyeennn.
Oim not a bogue, oim a fair-dinkum Aussie
With troibal tatts and a well-filled cossie
Oim true-blue. And orange. And I’m comin to getcha
Youse wogs, poofs and Asians, and towelheads, etcetera
Cos we were ‘ere first, we’re the real f@*kin’ deal
And we only do “ethnic” on a takeaway meal
So put your “guns” in the air, it’s Aussie time
And listen to me while I trot out words that sound somewhat similar…
Everybody say hey-now (hey-now)
F off, we’re full (blah, blah, blah…)
‘we only do ethnic on a takeaway meal’
Effing brilliant, Tombarina.
Respect, T. Where can i download it?
Bak atchoo, G-Dawg.
This fully righteous trak is @ http://www.poseywiggermiddleclassprivateschooleducatedsuburbanite.com.au
Also available at Ikea, and at Harvey Norman on a ma$$ive 36mths interest-free deal. Cos my man HarNor iss keepin’ it real. You diggg?
Peace out. Tupac lives. And I’m late for my pottery class.
That site glassed my browser. More respect!
*Applause*
I want to do a big $hout Out to Fiona, Shirley and Tombarina!!!
*krumping to the max*
Agreed, that is the best (and only) freestyling session I have ever seen.
I dip my hat to you! *wild applause*
I didn’t give a f*ck about learnin’ at school,
I’m a hard core anti-interlectual.
I worked in the mines, gotta pocket full of dollars,
Oi Cashed up Bogans! Give me a holler!
The hottest bitch on the block got a bracelet on her arm,
Pandora, f*ck yeah, I buy that bitch charms.
She looks so pretty with her sparkly jingly bling,
I love the sound it makes when I take her in the ring.
*conspicuous snort; suspicious glares from colleagues…*
Magnifique, mon cheri!
LOL.
*Scratching sound of Pandora Charms jangling away*
Well I’m a bit late, but I couldn’t resist seeing how many of the ‘things’ I could fit into a rap song. (Keeping the same beat between verses somewhat optional)
Yo yo yo, this one’s for all the carnts in the house gettin huuugggeee
(male bogue)
With me sick southern cross, and me tribal tat
when i roll up to the bar gonna steal all ya mats
With the fake tan and last year’s designer drug
I’m the MaXxtreme, new age, cashed up thug…
B to the O to the G-A-N
I’m the noveau bogue, don’t make me spell it again
flash me 3-park pass and me massive can
i’m the #1 true blue aussie bo-gan!
(femme bogue)
Got ma huge buddha statue all up in the McManse (sorry Fiona)
“Ed Hardy” brand all over li’l Chardy’s hot pants
Sippin functional water and the ‘locally brewed
Watchin border security – they keepin out Mahmoud (not racist but!)
On me sixty inch plasma, shit’s interest free
Doncha try ‘n make me pay or i’ll be callin TT
In the formal lounge, dont’cha touch that shit again
F-CKIN SHUT UP BRAYDEN tryin watch 2.5 Men
With kids glamour shots – i post all the troop
I’m the facebook celeb on my moronic groups
Keep me books self-help and me radio commercial
Love the ‘underbelly’ it’s just so controversial (n that)
With the fad diet to get me pre-baby weight
Tryin get some pandora or a vampire date
to see Andre or the shaolin monks, or pink
long as no mother f-cker tries ta make me think…
B to the O to the G-A-N
I’m the noveau bogue, don’t make me spell it again
flash me 3-park pass and me massive can
i’m the #1 true blue aussie bo-gan!
(male bogue)
linin up outside da club behind the velvet rope
checkin out johnno’s missus wanna go the grope
with the nike shoxmax and the sick chevy badge
all the shielas wanna let me take ’em in the
or the ass; but here’s the danger
every night i seem to wind up still doin’ the stranger
headin out to thailand on the contiki tour
x-treme sex tourism, it’s never a bore
Spray the lynx n head out for the La-Po’ feed
When the c-nts get drunk gonna be callin “TAXI!”
All the cash from the mines and the investment property
I’m an anti-intellect, i don’t need a degree…
(mad scratching interlude)
Did the back in, gettin all the mad compo
Thanks to S&G, now I can go to sexpo
and the ‘cup, or even rock the ballet
love pretending i’m ‘oirish’ on st patricks day
seen all the big things and the cover bands
love killin animals and votin ‘f-ck the man’
to use me free speech on all the news ltd. polls
got ADHD – 20/20’s how my cricket rolls
“f-ck off we’re full” that’s what I say
so when i’m drivin the chev’, best stay outta me way…
B to the O to the G-A-N
I’m the noveau bogue, don’t make me spell it again
flash me 3-park pass and me massive can
i’m the #1 true blue aussie bo-gan!
*glass out*
Will! You’ve outdone yourself – a truly horrific, yet magnificent, epic rap.
*salutes, doffs lid, applauds*
LOL.
FANTASTIC!
It really worries me how good some of you are at this.
The McManse line is fine, btw, as long as you say “Mc” and not “ancestral”.
Will, you da man.
the *glass out* at the end is perfection.
Awesome rap, made me cry with laughter 🙂
here’s an alternate chorus:
Welcome to Australia
the big bogan nation
so eat ur f-ckin cheesymeat
and pray to the great Satan
piss off the arabs, abbos, chocos and frogs
and use ur f-ckin Kingsy to run ova the wogs.
tombarina, you’re my hero!
I got Bra’s in cars
wiv Southern Cross Stars
Hardy and Mother bombs
Locals Only Bars.
We Fuck Arse
with no class
she’s got a coaster for a tramp stamp
so you can rest your fucken glass.
We grew here
You flew here
I’ll smash ya! Ya C*nt
I’m in the big black commo
says chevvy on the front
(this is why I’m not famous)
LOL. Splendid, simply splendid. We’ll get you a higher degree in the Classics yet.
fiona, please just go away – I’m sick of seeing your invocations. If you want to respect someone, don’t precede you comment with things you (a monkey) cannot understand. who gives a fuck about your degree or mine, nearly everyone I met in my uni was just as dumb as you. Show some respect for once and drop the LOL you churlish monkey.
@rilla – After 8 months I think everyones moved on.
bravo.
I’m stuck in moderation.
silly ch#bby.
Chubby,
better then being stuck in modernisation esp if hip hop is part of it ?
I can take a bit of Hip Hop. I don’t mind aussie flavour. I’m not gonna rush out and buy it or anything.
I do like a lot of what youse might call “techno” music. I would call it “brutal downbeat psychedelic trance” however.
Very nice.
That doesn’t rhyme, Chub.
How very freestyle of you!
Much respek.
straight off the top o my dome.
my rap is in moderation.
goddammit!
I need Validation!
Who was it that did that song?
Freestylin’,
Rock the microphone,
Straight of the top o my dome..
and that refrain was repeated ad nauseum. Oh the irony.
LOL. The Bomfunk MC’s. From the Netherlands. The nether lands of musical talent too, one presumes.
They Bomfunk MCs (or BumFuck MCs, as I am wont to call them) are actually from Finland:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bomfunk_mcs
LOL. I stand corrected on a fact I care nought for.
Certainly the nether regions of talent.
Let us look long and hard from whence $hitenhausen Aussie hip hop has sprung.
It owes nothing to rap pioneers like Grandmaster Flash, Snoop, Tupac, the Beasties or even to uber-violent meisters like Ice-T.
Rather, it springs from the singularly distinguished field of US rap-lite which has bequeathed to us Vanilla Ice, Marky Mark, 90210’s Brian Austin Green, Limp Bizkit, Kit Rock and K-Fed and their equally appalling black manufactured counterparts Soulja Boy, Akon, Flo Rida, anyone produced by The Neptunes or Timbaland, etc.
To quote The Offspring: “the world needs wannabes”.
What about techno music, listening to a souless fucking computer making stupid noises made by some twat with zero talent and skill. It seems that was the bogans reaction to feeling the need to be enlightened, cultured and worldy without actually having to be so. Up to date with the tech revolution usually practiced by owning a mobile and using it like a poseur as much as possible and getting nailed on the fees.
I can’t stand wiggers and anyone who’s dress sense was even remotely influenced by Eminem but I must confess to thinking The Herd was alright from the little I heard on the radio, I didn’t detect any misogyny or any outright lies of “growing up in tha hood” and not having the exact same opportunities as any Australian. I liked Skunkhour too but they were more funk/rap and their bass lines were awesome.
Stereo Mc’s are also good, great live show and mostly white but without the bullsh!t
I agree.
I LOVE Stereo Mc’s.
Got in early with nice funk/hip hop.
The fact that the singer looks like a junkie makes them even better!
Martin, I’m not much of a fan of the shite that is called techno music these days… trance makes my knuckles itch and the rest of it’s mostly pretty ordinary too.
However, in the days before desktop computers, and even (egad!) sequencers, electronic music was played the old-school way, only with electronic instruments often designed and built by the player.
Of course, these halcyon days have passed, but the memory lives on through groups like Kraftwerk… true visionaries of the first magnitude.
Here Here!
It’s ‘hear hear’. Ya bogan. 🙂
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hear,_hear
yeah yeah
Well yeah I can handle that sort of thing, New Order springs to mind, and The Cure’s ‘Mixed Up’, although I have never heard Kraftwerk, they’re German I believe.
They are indeed German (the name translates roughly as “Power Station”). They’re undoubtedky most famous for the 25-minute epic “Autobahn”, and the excellent “Trans Europe Express”.
“We are the robots” also very well known. Possibly the best live show i have ever seen. Four men on laptops, barely moving – two hours. I died and went to heaven while they did their online banking and caught up on emails.
Please not to forget The Model.
Of course “its more fun to compute”
Also as covered by Rammstein. One of my personal favourites is “Sapcelab” from their 1978 album “The Man Machine”… which, come to think of it, also has “The Model” and “The Robots”.
I make it a point of taking Kraftwerk wherever I travel – I spent 7 glorious minutes listening to Radioactivity while looking out of my 47th floor hotel room in Hiroshima – aaah the goosebumps, and I also listened to Trans Europe Express whilst traveling across Eastern Europe on the dodgy Elvira Train line. You never know when a Kraftwerk song my apply to a situation so I keep the ipod loaded and ready to go at all times!
I’m quite a fan of Kraftwerk but when I saw them live I wished I had a sniper rifle. BORING!
Though, at first it was kinda cool in an eerie sort of way. But then, you know, boring.
Shirley,
Are you the singularity?
I don’t think so. It’s been established that I’m the Higgs Boson, and I don’t think I can be both.
just re the singularity/higgs boson thing,
I’m quite sure you can’t be both. I think the term ‘singularity’ represents the state of the universe prior to the big bang. Whereas, if my armchair physics is correct, the higgs boson (or god particle) is not proposed to have come into existence until after (or effectively “in”) the big bang. (the point in space time in which the higgs boson first came into effect being measured in Planck time, for the purposes of the debate the two “appellates” might be considered to have been in existence at the same time (initially, of course, the higgs boson is postulated to be everywhere now) but certainly not the same thing.
Unless, you consider that the higgs boson may have been, in fact, the very thing which tipped the singularity into our multiverse state…
nah.
that would still make them different things.)
You definitely can’t be both.
Kraftwerk? Bah humbug. Nearly 23 minutes of:
“We are driving on the Autobahn
In front of us is a wide valley
The sun is shining with glittering rays
The driving strip is a grey track
White stripes, green edge
We are switching the radio on
From the speaker it sounds:
We are driving on the Autobahn
We are driving on the Autobahn
We are driving on the Autobahn
We are driving on the Autobahn
(repeat ad nauseum – and there WILL be nauseum – for 22:47)
Sorry, Sten, Martin & Viv – with all respek, I’d rather eat my own head.
Tombarina ! I have no words. However
*glass*
*thinks about stoically accepting glassing*
*thinks better of it*
*runs off at speed with arms waving in the air like I really DO care*
Run back to your Metallica Dvd !
Tombarina,
I stand united with you in thinking Kraftwerk sucks.
Skunkhour – another dearly loved hip hop/funk outfit of mine, along with Spearhead and the previous incarnation Disposable Heros of Hip Hopracy (OK I know they are not Aussie, but such brilliant lyrics, got me lovin the clever hip hop)
word.
they were a good night out too.
Is that what I call Techno Trash?
Lets take the mood down from freestyle to haiku
Bogan rides in Chevvy
Aussie pride for all to see
Skiphop blares to the MaxXxtreme
It’s a super poem WMA, but not technically a haiku, I’m afraid.
Hey wikipedia said it was.
You gunna argue with the font of all knowledge??
It’s 5 syllables, then 7, then 5 to the best of my knowledge.
What does wiki say?
Hi guys, look at this…wasn’t sure where to post it, but here you go..
http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/invasion-of-the-theatre-bogans-20100421-suiz.html
😦
Its true though – I witnessed it on the weekend. I saw a lot of theatre thongs and theatre singlets worn, and incomprehensible drunken heckling. Woeful.
Build it and they will come.
Poor Fiona, its reverse gentrification. Her box will be filled with hollering commoners.
poor fi
LOL. Sadly, that article is quite true. Not that I’ve ever gone to see Tom Green, but I have noticed a decidedly lowering of the class barriers in the audiences of more cultured events.
I blame Andre Rieu.
and Vanessa Mae. And Bond
LOL. And Nigel Kennedy.
Richard Clayderman.
the dessicated dusty corpse of richard clayderman.
comeuppance if its true.
Ooh and don’t forget Blake! I’ve seen their ads on SBS though so maybe they will elude the bogan for a little longer!
Although they’re very posh so I’m not sure whether the bogan will be charmed by the toff-ness or go down the anti-intellectual route.
I went to see Wil Anderson’s final show in Melbourne recently and was laughing with my companions about these two heavy set bogans dress in his and hers matching Essendon football club polo’s. We pointed and laughed until we realised that they were sitting in front of us. This made us point and laugh even more. Anyhoo, Mr Anderson comes on stage and does his thing where he talks to the audience and notices Mr and Mrs Maxtreem-Bouge and points them out and said “Wow you two really are bogan’s aren’t you?” I nearly DIED laughing, they did not laugh ONCE not even a flippin’ smile through what was one of the funniest stand ups I’ve seen.
I couldn’t understand why they came to see him at all, maybe it’s cause Essendon lost?
I hate theatre bogans! That article is just so true, especially the bogan thinking of Shakespeare in the park being for ‘poofahs’!.
They ruined ‘Spamalot’ for me and the reason why I don’t go to the Melbourne Comedy festival as much.
But what do you expect when someone invented bogan theatre in the form of ‘Warnie – The Musical’. Made by the same bloke who did ‘Keating’, but bogues would have understood the jokes in that…
So theatre has finally come full circle. It’s taken circa 2500 years, so it would seem that the likes of us won’t get to enjoy any high brow stage entertainment in respectful quiet ever again.
Why would anyone except a bogan go and see Tom Green? It makes sense that he would smash his guitar to please a crowd.
I’m going Godwin this thread via Mel Brooks:
Hahaha… life immitates, well, art! This reminds me very much of Terry Pratchett’s Maskerade.
I know that these days we all have to be tolerant and open-minded about art, but bugger that. I think hip-hop in general is tuneless, obnoxious dogshit.
Maybe one day I’ll hear the right thing that will give me a different perspective on it, but for now I think it’s a pox on modern culture.
Spot on, couldn’t have put it better myself, Hip Hop and Techno Trash
bin em both
you’re just not hip to the scene Pops.
Skunkhour? Sorry. Textbook bogan.
Multiple bandwagon jumping? (check. Acid Jazz Lite meets basement level hip hop)
Aussie accents? (check)
JJJ high rotation (check)
Another pox forced on the ears of the discerning listener by da nashnul yoof broadcaster.
Don’t get me started on Supergroove. Or the new millenium edition The Cat Empire.
I reserve a special kind of loathing for the cat empire.
The same i reserve for Architecture in Helsinki i presume
As far as kids music goes, I quite like Architecture in Helsinki.
But Shirley, we’ve also established your penchant for the beatles… 🙂
It’s not a mere penchant, viv. It’s a lifestyle choice. The Beatles were my first true love. 😛
You really should meet my Beloved.
He used to shoot The Cat Empire with his finger-gun when’ere they darkened our screen.
Mind you, he also shoots Empire of the Sun, most rappers, and National Youth Choir schilling for Qantas, too. He’s very, very mature.
LOL. And it would seem, a man of discerning taste.
Aye. Glass ’em all.
I hurl swears that would make a wharfie blush whenever I see Empire of the Sun. Sounds like we’d get along famously.
I like a lot of rappers, though. Just not the rubbish ones.
LOL clearly our definition of bogan differs quite dramatically.
Ciao ciao (it’s Ok I am half Eyetye)
Skunkhour are a bit bogan, they did have a song about having a bong addiction. I don’t care I still liked them and I like(d) many bogan bands – Led Zep, ACDC, The Oils, Cold Chisel, Metallica’s Black Album and the other handful of obligatory songs like One, a few songs from the ‘hair’ bands from the 80s like the gunners, poison. So if that makes me a pariah on this site so be it!
But I only listen to them these days when I’m drunk and I’m keen for some retro.
Metallica’s Kill em All,now thats bogan,but i loves this album.
Kill ’em All is classic bogan, not nouveu. The nouveu bogue prefers Nickelback.
The nouveu shall not drag influential speed metal through the mud along with them.
maybe you would dig on Queens of the Stone Age, Them Crooked Vultures, The Desert Sessions or Kyuss.
I think you might dig Kyuss.
all of that stuff swings like god’s dick.
Josh Homme has the Rock!
wolfmother is for dandies and artists.
Have looked at Them Crooked Vultures,its good,Josh Homme and Dave hold their own with JPJ(maybe he’s got a bonox roadie),they’re livin the dream,Eagles of Death Metal was a good laugh,thats the thing about Dave Grohl,no matter how many pissed plebs in boozed beer barns chant the fooies,he’s always got something else.As for Wolfmother-ask Mike Pattern
thumbs up on the EODM. What did Patten think of wolfmother?
aussies just aren’t rocking these days.
or am I missing something?
eddy current maybe…
yeah, Cog, but…
If anyone says Karnivool I will hunt you down and give you a stern talking to.
You’re not missing anything.
We’ve lost the rock.
Oh no, I saw Daniel f&cking Johns scream, “everybody f*ckin’ Rock” at a music fest.
hohohohohoho
He is as lame as Medieval Re-Creationists!!!
No wait….
… he is lamer!!!
I mean…
… more lame!!!
LOL. Verily he be.
Way to state the bleeding obvious ladies.
Not completely. I’m going to get stoned to death here for this, but…
I still love my AC/DC.
In particular I think the “Stiff Upper Lip” album from 2000 is one of the best pieces of straight-up unadorned rythmic Rock and Roll that has ever been produced by an Australian band.
*ducks*
patton on wolfmother. gospel. FNM, tomahawke, battles, mr bungle. the man knows his sh*t
LOL. I don’t understand why Wolfmother just don’t be done with it and become a Led Zeppelin cover band.
Because no one but ageing hippies would go. I think the only thing worse was Jet in terms of tedious unoriginality
Thank you for spelling ‘Patton’ correctly! I think you are the first 😉
He’s an amazing bloke, and has earned the right IMO to say whatever the hell he wants about any other music out there. He’s done it all and more.
Having seen both the Vultures and the Fooies live, I’m convinced that Dave may in fact be the single coolest person on the planet. Ever.
People can hate on FF for their commercial success until the cows come home, but it doesn’t alter the fact that they’re a suberb live act with individually brilliant musos, that Davy Grolton is probably the most generous (in terms of sharing the love and genuine respect) “star” performer I’ve seen and I can’t think of another act which plays sooooo hard to the fans.
Saw TCV at the Riverstage last year, and lots of similarities – individually outstanding musos, a great cohesive whole.
Unlike Nickelback, which are simply…a hole.
I’m not a huge Foo Fighters fan, but when I saw them live it was like listening to a mega hits juke box. They gots the talent.
LOL. I will go so far as to say I would strongly consider letting Dave Grohl enter the ancestral manse via the tradesman’s entrance…
Dunno. Last time I saw them I found Dave’s constant “Here We Go!” where the last line of a verse should be a bit annoying. I don’t think that it helped that we saw them at the “super dome”. Crap venue IMO.
My interest in the Foo’s peaked somewhere between The Colour and the Shape and There is Nothing Left To Lose (both great albums IMO).
What’s their current stuff like?
They have got a bit same same I think. Certainly peaked with The Colour.
After Mike’s…shall we say, word-vommy…about WMother, he followed it up with what some silly people interpreted as an apology/backdown.
Me? I think it’s absolutely dripping in sarcasm. But don’t take my word for it:
http://www.microugly.com/page/blogs/mike-patton-thinks-wolfmother-is-genius/
It does seem obvious, doesn’t it.
Anyhoo, does anyone remember what he said about INXS? Now that was pretty outrageous. Offensive IMO, but given what he has done I’ll forgive him that.
(No INXS fan here, BTW)
He said he’d take the job if INXS would let him wear a noose around his neck onstage. Not cool. Then again, I’ve heard worse – the multiple incarnations of INXS since MH’s icky demise, for instance.
Good call.
Nah chubby my metal tastes don’t extend much further than the black album. I tried. My other tastes are more JJJ libtard like You Am I (the early stuff, until they became overly mid beatles beatlesque), Spiderbait, Custard, The Cruel Sea, Tex is the coolest bogan in the world, RHCP which I guess are half bogan half libtard. I also have a thing for 80s hits like Spandau Ballet songs and stuff. I thought the 80s were cool. They shat all over the late 90s and noughties for music imo, but maybe that’s because I’m not young anymore. Don’t think so.
I agree Shirley M rock is dead.
At risk of admitting to exxxtreme bogue behaviour, I bought the Ministry of Sound 80’s Anthems compilation. And i love it. In my defense, I just about owned every song on it, but they are on vinyl or I have been too lazy to click genie play list on my ipod. Doesn’t have a great deal of alternative 80’s, but still a pretty good collection of electronic 80’s. I feel better for having confessed.
And I used my partners staff discount to buy it.
sweet tune.
screw the coolios! I saw skunhour a few times and they were always a poppin’ scene. better live than recorded.
speaking of poppin gigs, seeing resin dogs at Livid in brisbane was a standout memory.
and I love the Butterfingers. naughty cheeky sh*t.
Buttah Fingahs Muthah F#ckahs!
can’t help myself.
The Resin Dogs live were flippin’ awesome!
Agreed.
I saw the The Resin Dogs at Offshore festival and they were jammin’ only to be cut short so that Something for f&cking Kate could play a three hour suicide inducing set.
How I have cursed them ever since.
Couldn’t agree with you more, ColinJ. Never liked the original gangst rap crap from the US and the try-hard Australian stuff is even worse. I avoid it like the plague.
I think everyone has forgotten where Aussie rapping really began. Allow me to remind you:
I don’t just want pure flirtation, so let’s go,
go where we can feel the vibrations,
come on now read my lips and take dictation,
you just got to follow the beat and find the location.
End of conversation.
LOL. Melissa Tkautz?
You know it. The foreskank of skip hop.
LOL. I wonder if the gentleman she sang to really was able to wait until later and keep his hands off her detonator?
She makes herself pretty clear. She wants someone who’s ready now. Who’ll get on the floor and show her how.
Slut.
LOL. Much like the Veronicas. They have expressed a fervent desire to be taken on the floor.
What is this Australian skank obsession with doing it on the floor?
Don’t these people have beds, or dining tables?
LOL. Or kitchen bench tops. Or couches to be bent over.
Hmmm, I may have said just a tad too much here…
From a practical point of view it’s usually quieter than on a bed or table. Sometimes that is useful.
I don’t think sluts care about the quiet factor, Benjamin. I know this from experience.
’tis true. Just pointing out that sometimes a floor can be the right choice, slut or no.
Maybe there ikea bed broke and all their furniture is waiting to be delivered from hardly normals. 😀
Aussie rapping is really just a modern continuation of our great poetry tradition as personified by AB Paterson, and others – work which was considered worthless doggerell in its time but now considered a priceless part of our heritage. One day our hip hop will be seen the same way – a striking insight into the true 21st century Aussie psyche.
Well, not really.
I used to work with an older suburban she-bogue who would quote ye olde bullshitty bush poetry at the drop of a hat. I had to tell her to stop.
well,
maybe
a bit.
shakespeare and dickens wrote pulp in their day.
hear hear,im a Wilde man myself
Wheels!
George Washington!
As I have already given two $hout Outs in this post It made me understand the importance of these to the bogue. The bogan cherishes any chance it gets to hoot and yell. It makes them feel important when the MC’s give a $hout out to their home town. If their name gets mentioned via ANY amplification/broadcast medium they are a celebrity.
They also love, “can I get a….” thinking people are actually paying attention.
The bogue seeks validation.
One of the most enjoyable comments threads ever!
Absolute pleasure to read this one.
I would dearly love to see the TBL comment posse in a furious krumping session or better, a breakdance war. Fiona of Toorak, you rock hard with the Mary J. lyrics – love it.
Now…as someone who was taught classical piano and strict theory by a respected French professor from a young age, I soon found my way from the formalism of dead white European composers to the rhythms of black music, be it gospel, blues, jazz, soul, disco, funk, hip hop, house, techno, drum’n’bass and so on. I do understand the hateration of techno and hip hop expressed in the comments here, because much of the awful techno and hip hop that reaches the mainstream is the sound of the commercialisation of once great artforms – but proper techno, for instance (emerging from and commenting on the industrialisation/technologicalisation of industry in Detroit, Chicago etc) is beautiful and innovative music. rant rant rant
word.
seriously.
I f@cking Looove Beats.
all sorts.
…but one must exercise discernment.
for people who bark about techno crap this and hip hop shit that and trance wank the other…
Shut The F#ck up and Dance.
LOL I couldn’t agree more Chubster!!!
Shut up and Dance.. the world would be a better place *nods*
Peggsy, that is how I feel too, I love trance, but not the shit that is played on the radio. I also love hard trance that has come out of England, Germany, and some small parts of Ibiza. I have been following a DJ by the name of Phil Reynolds for over 10 years now. The music that he and Nick Sentience are producing are really cool and hard line. As I get older (urgh) I am finding that the slower funk, D&B are really starting to infiltrate my ipod. Alex Freeland, Simple Minds, etc etc. I get a bit annoyed when people start slagging off trance, because I too hate the shit on the radio and all most cry at hearing my beloved music being turned into Candied shit.
The bogans have taken away the comedy festival, wine tours, and now my beloved dance music…It’s enough to want to start a rampage through Fountain Gate. 😉
seriously.
check out Kick Bong.
It’s blunts & daquiris on the beach.
(after a completely f#cking mental night in an israeli club with that chemist you met from amsterdam.)
most of you will hate it.
best experienced with headphones and dissociatives.
LOL. Yes, I must admit, I DO rock.
And occasionally roll.
It’s quite obvious you do rock however I think you’ll find it’s called crack cocaine’ in Rootak. Up ya nose.
LOL. Crack is the poor person’s version of Cocaine. I assure you I have no such tastes.
I can assure you that assurances from you about your lack of taste are quite correct.
Further, I can assure you that your assurances about her assurances about her lack of taste are quite correct.
Yep,
thats what too many Gin and Tonics will do to you.
Actually too many G&Ts will result in foetal position rocking and sobbing, maybe eye rolling.
I tend to stand in the yard and howl a bit too.
That was you I could hear replying?
Is howl a euphemism for vomit?
Jesus says your all fucking idiots.
I LOVE this. Introduced my Beastie Boys-loving son to it recently.
“NO! SLEEP! TILL BEDTIME!!!!”
Now I know TBL hung shit on Dr Dre but a while ago he produced a song called ‘Bitches Ain’t Shit’ (which they ain’t) became rather famous in it’s own right. However your son might like this version better:
Thanks, Tracy. He’ll give it burl!
Superb cover. ❤
sweet.
added to my “fifty cracking tunes” playlist.
Which now contains 547 tunes.
Ha ha. Brilliant.
My 2 year old son sings NO SLEEP TILL BOOK WIN!
*effing proud*
My kids used to sing “No sleep till broccoli”
Shirley,
Are you the very quintessence?
No, Lurker. As I have already stated, I’m the Higgs Boson.
Are you a little bit slow?
Give the man Ritalin
LOL. Book win! Seriously.
My twins were singing along to John Spencer Blues Explosion at 3.
“Orange” was a great hip-hop album.
The blues are number one!
Shirley, choo got da flavor!
LOL.
The flavour? Who’s the flavour? Maybe Shirl came here, just to save ya?
I really hope you typed that whilst wearing an 18th century french clock attatched to a phat gold chain.
LOL. You just don’t know what time it is, son. You can axe me if I know though.
And your couch got a rip in it.
cold medina indeed
Yo couch, Fiona. Yo couch.
My daughter thinks Morris Major and the minors are awesome, she just loves it, cracks me up
Did we remember that Morris Minor & the Majors had another hit in Australia? “This is the chorus”, taking the pi$$ out of Bananarama, Spandau Ballet, the Stock Aitken & Waterman drivel, etc
Thank you TBL, this is the one I have been waiting for and I was not disappointed!
Oh, James Hunter. You and chubbybloodfart ought to start a group. With a month’s worth of guitar lessons under his Lowes Big Mens belt, I’m sure he now shreds that Aldi semi-acoustic. Plus, he may still own the Jim’s Mowing van, which would come in handy for hauling the rig.
I will name the ensemble: Situation Vacant!! Obviously it covers all the bases. #1 The state of mental health of both of you, #2 the state of employment (or lack of employment) of both of you & #3 it has a maxtreme, old school, punk-like ring to it.
I offer management while you, pops, can be the assistant to the manager, with your first duty to ‘phone The Enmore.
JH, Chubster – please, please let this go though to the keeper.
Today’s page has been such a cracking read – just ignore baiting rubbish like this.
Peter, please find something relevant to write about, there’s a good chap.
Thank you, gentlemen.
Tombarina,
“we are one”
W.A.R.N.
Tombarina,
I just logged on and notice that there is still occasionally the sound of locusts in the air?
The trouble with bogan adherents of Aussie hip-hop is that when they are confronted with the names of 5 artists by a fan of new wave and punk music who’s sixteen years older than them, they’ve only heard of The Hilltop Hoods and the Herd. It’s like saying that you like 60’s music when you really mean that you like the Beatles. Corey must die.
Skip Hop started in Sydney for me nearly 20 years ago when i watched Def Wish Cast. Aya.
Youtube them.
Oh, James Hunter, ‘we are’ nothing of the kind.
Tombarina: stop your grizzlin’ you poor (in every description of the word) repressed born again Christian.
I always thought the VB add was a brilliant piece of ‘rap’ for the bogan. 😀
Remember how utter shit Def FX were?
I was thinking of sucky Australian music and I suddenly remembered them.
I have a Def FX poster from the ‘Kill all the real girls’ tour.
Yes. They were shit.
I don’t remember Def FX….
Oh, now I do.
Thanks for nothing, Col & Shirl. Now I have to live with that.
Fiona Horne? Went on to write a book about being a modern day witch and became a minor television celebrity?
You may recall the song ‘White Bullet’. It was a very post-modern ditty about the humble tampon.
She’s a nuclear-grade f$*kwit. Again, thanks a bunch for the memory-jog.
If I may return the favour….Madison Avenue. Not rap. Not hip-hop. Just $hite. Go stick THAT in your pipe & smoke it.
Get F*CKED!
*Deep breath*. 2 more champagnes and MA will be back down in the depths of sub-conscious.
Sorry for my outburst.
Madison Avenue; the novelty pop act who swiftly fell apart after they tried to perform live.
Yipes!
For that , I give you Frente, Accidently Kelly Street and a big Angie Hart girlie giggle
Oh Frente were ok. At least they competently played real instruments. Granted, Accidentally Kelly Street was a bit lame, but Ordinary Angels was a cool song.
Ok until Accidently Kelly Street which poisoned all memories of works before. She was annoying though
Viv, that is, without a doubt, my most-hated Australian musical turd of all time. It eclipses MadAv, DefFX, any over-singing Idol wannabe or soapie nightmare. It’s even worse than Check-1-2.
I want to stab you with a pencil for mentioning it.
I will stoically accept that stabbing 🙂 It may help me forget it myself
beyond shit , some might say
Kiddies, I was so amused by the superb rapping here today, I’ve taken the liberty of compiling it all into one big righteous lump of HELL-YEAH goodness.
So: ALL DA BOGANS IN DA HOUSE, SAY “WAAAAARRRRRNNNNIIIIIEEEEE”
‘Straya’s had bogans for a real long time,
We’ve only recently learnt how to rap’n’rhyme.
We’re gonna tell you a story so you won’t be guessin’
Skip Hop’s gonna give y’all a history lesson.
Let’s go back to the time of Hoges, givin’ Aussie pride to the bogues
Dealing with trouble and strife? Mate, “that’s not a knife!”…
I’ve been milkin’ a cow and draggin’ a plough,
the thirst for ale, I got it right now.
Once upon a time a bogue would down a Vic Bitter
Now locally-brewed imported is better.
In days of yore, bogan weapons were blunt,
Now the nu-bogue screams “I’ll glass the c*nt!”
MaxXxtreme violence is the Bogue’s way of life,
Along with anal burglary of the wife
*Chicka-chicka-boom-boom*
Now, oim not a bogue, oim a fair-dinkum Aussie
With troibal tatts and a well-filled cossie
Oim true-blue. And orange. And I’m comin to getcha
Youse wogs, poofs and Asians, and towelheads, etcetera
Cos we were ‘ere first, we’re the real f@*kin’ deal
And we only do “ethnic” on a takeaway meal
So put your “guns” in the air, it’s Aussie time
And listen to me while I trot out words that sound somewhat similar…
*Scratching sound of Pandora Charms jangling away*
I didn’t give a f*ck about learnin’ at school,
I’m a hard core anti-interlectual.
I worked in the mines, gotta pocket full of dollars,
Oi! Cashed-up bogans! Give me a holler!
The hottest bitch on the block got a bracelet on her arm,
Pandora, f*ck yeah, I buy that bitch charms.
She looks so pretty with her sparkly jingly bling,
I love the sound it makes when I take her in the ring.
*Insane scratching interlude*
I got Bra’s in cars wiv Southern Cross stars
Hardy and Mother bombs, locals-only bars.
We f&$k ar$e with no class
She’s got a coaster for a tramp stamp so you can rest your f$*kin’ glass.
We grew here, you flew here I’ll smash ya, ya c#*t
I’m in the big black Commo, says chevvy on the front
Everybody say hey-now (hey-now)
F#*k off, we’re full (blah, blah, blah…)
© 2010. All rights reserved, unless some c%$t’s looking for a f*$kin’ glassing. And we’ll sool Slater & Gordon onto ya.
Tombarina, you are like the mum of the family sticking all our crappy artworks on the fridge.
Mwah!
I may have said ‘crappy artworks’, but what I meant was maxtremely awesome freestylin’.
Pleasure, treasure. I honestly laughed myself silly reading some of today’s burnt offerings.
Must dash – a couple of posts up, Everyone’s Special Friend Peter has unerringly identified me as a “grizzling, poor (in every sense of the word), repressed, born again Christian”. So it’s off to the soup kitchen for a handout, a spot of moral outrage, a whinge, then some a-churchin’.
Nite, kids.
You know what? It’s just occurred to me that my paramour and I have a full recording studio in our spare room. There is absolutely no reason why we can’t record this compilation… except for laziness, of course.
Stay tuned….
We could conceivably become rich. Fiona, who does not need the money, will of course donate her share to the DNA.
Shirley, do you think our get rich quick schemes and half arsed plans might be just lightly bogue? I think i may start a short self-awareness course to explore this concern.
They’re only bogue if they fail. We’ll burn that bridge down when we come to it. 😛
Or as a boguette would say to another post glassing – “build a bridge and get over it”
“we’re not worthy,we’re not worthy”
tombarina – and all those who contributed to the great tbl rap – thankyou. that truly is a thing of beauty. i wave my arms in awe.
LOL. *waves my hands in the air like I just do care*
Somehow.
Fantastic work, everyone, and big ups to Tombarina for collating it all. This needs to go in the book, methinks.
This skip-hop song was quite some time before Hilltop Hoods:
I saw it on rage one late Saturday night. Still crap. Not much has changed with Australian high-hop except the new stuff is somewhat pretentious and more *bling bling*.
Oh and I can’t believe no one has mentioned Joel Turner and The Modern Day Poets. What an abomination!
Well, THAT was uncalled-for, Anon! We managed to get through the whole day without anyone trotting out JT. And then you just HAD to spoil it…. 🙂
It was spoiled long before Anonymous spoke up.
I’m just so happy that many of the names don’t ring any bells for me.
Oh good grief. “Ring My Bell”. Now I’ve done it.
“removes gloves*
All-righty, then.
Noeline Donaher: No Regrets
Bruce Samazan: One of a Kind
Chantoozies: Witch Queen of New Orleans
Freaked Out Flower Children: Spill the Wine
Stefan Dennis: Don’t It Make You Feel Good
Warwick Capper: I Only Take What’s Mine
Don’t blame me, Benjamin. You brought this on yourself.
Kim Durant : Love You Brisbane
Nearly forgot ,
Km Durant : Love you Perth.
I only have the Brisbane version on vinyl, never could find the Perth release. If you don’t know it, you tube it -was used as a tv promo in 1983 and released onto the charts. Classic
Love you Brisbane (love you Brisbane)
‘Cos you mean the world to me
We laugh, we cry, we struggle we try
There’s no place I’d rather beeeeeeeeee
Love you Brisbane….
*wanders off in search of a red harem-panted evening garment with sparkly bits, and some nice blue eyeshadow*
Ha! I think you may be causing collateral damage, but I have evaded your otherwise powerful attack.
Of those I have heard of only one. And it’s not as bad as Mellisa Tkautz or whoever sang “Ring My Bell”.
I think I must be a very lucky man. Thank you, I’ve been having a bad week, and you have reminded me about how much worse it could be.
*WARN*
Ring my Bell was Collette, Benjamin. Melissa was ‘Read my Lips’. Scroll up some if you would like to revisit the lyrical stylings of this top ten hit.
I was referring to both Melissa (as Melissa) and Collette (as “whoever sang Ring My Bell”). Sorry – I wasn’t very clear.
Anyway I can laugh at the memory of “Read My Lips”. Dunno why, normally it would be crushing.
Craig Mclachlan and Check 1-2 – Mona
Ian Moss : Tuckers Daughter
Jason Donovan: Sealed with a Kiss.
This is what happens when TBL don’t give us a new post.
I don’t like it one bit.
This one is “Especially for You” , Shirley M
Post of the day, sir. Well done.
Kick Fiona ’till she writes a new one. Perhaps we can contribute to a new blog on their off days.
Maybe someone could grab “thingsnotlikedbypeoplewholikethingsboganslike.wordpress.com”
It can fill the gaps and give us something else to talk about.
Great minds huh Viv.
Imagine if we used them for good instead of evil…
Mark “Jacko” Jackson – I’m an Individual.
Don’t make me go novelty on you!
Shut Uppa Ya Face
Joe Dolce – Shut uppa your face.
Your stealing all my material!
Pushbike Song
LOL. Joe Dolce’s later stuff is better – you know, when he became Paul Kelly.
Bec Cartwright – All seats taken.
Damn you Viv you made me go medievil on your arse
Up there Cazally (sic)
Dear God, i feel like the Rainman of shit australian novelty acts – somebody else, please give me one i dont know
You arsked for it
Gary Sweet – Most People I know think that I am Crazy!
AAAAAAHHHH, the humanity
Its not asutralian , but screw it
Agadoo
Did you know that Noelene Donaher from Sylvania Waters released a song called “No Regrets”.
It was surprisingly unsuccessfull.
Rolf Harris : Stairway to Heaven, Jake the Peg Leg whatever …
What s shock that Noelene failed, she the right voice, the right face? HWat went worng. Wouldnt it be great if the Paxtons released an Oz Hip Hop? It’s not too late if they read this.
Corey Worthington – Fight for your right to Party.
He should cover Pink’s Get the Party Started, guaranteed Bogue hit and keeps Beastie Boys from being tarnished
Cameron Daddo and his countryesque stylings.
I think for my sanity it may need to stop here.
I’ll have to go on workcover if it continues. After all, someone will have to be accountable for not stopping me. Looking for Slater and Gordon number in case..
http://australian-charts.com/forum.asp?id=26267&todo=viewthread
Ok, thats it, enjoy Viv.
http://poptrashaddicts.blogspot.com/2007/02/singing-soap-stars-my-top-24-countdown.html
Ok, one more.
Here Deltra gets called a c*nt so thought you should see it.
That’s a brilliant website! Can you believe Marilyn form Home and Away covered a Hendrix Song! This is dangerous
And we forgot Toni Pearen!
what about kyle sandilands’ wife’s song?
She would be like a repressed sex abuse memory. One day you will be doing the groceries and you’ll pick up a box of weetbix and flash!!, an image of Toni Pearan rushes forth from the subconscious , leaving you on the floor, fetal position, sobbing while trying to call your court appointed psychiatrist.
Dude, that was uncalled for!
*To PB*
pb : is that the delightful Tamsin Sursock? What kind of name is that? I could of told her it would be over too soon with a name like Tamsin Sursock.
viv, no, kyle’s wife is tamara jaber, who was in that popstars group scandal’us and then released a song (which i thankfully haven’t heard) based on the schoolyard rhyme ‘ooh aah, i lost my bra, i left it in my boyfriend’s car’.
oh god, i just looked up the lyrics (http://artists.letssingit.com/tamara-jaber-lyrics-ohh-ahh-m6n5hgb if you are game) and it truly is an abomination. it appears to even have a rap breakdown in the middle of it. the horror!
simon, sorry, but in my defence i didn’t start this.
True, but some depths are best left unplumbed.
Boys are rotten, made of cotton???? Who wrote this drivel, Kyle?
simon, i think you’re right – i’ve got the damn rhymes stuck in my own head now. that’ll teach me for trying to out-novelty song everyone. i stand ready for a well-deserved glassing.
Let he who hasn’t sinned , cast the first glass
*glass*
😉
Those who admit they are wrong are already on the road to redemption.
LOL. Or for those of us with a higher degree in the Classics…
“Let he who hath not bogued glass the first c*nt”.
*glass*
I may have to relinquish my title, I am getting out glassed.
*Furiously lashes out with both hands glass, glass*
Boys are sexy, made out of pepsi.
Get f*cked now please, Mrs Sandilands.
Kyle Sandilands had a wife called Tamara
No talent, No drama
I’ll pen a song
She will win a gong
Then up her arse I will Jaber
LOL. Simon, only I have the power to rescind your title and I have no intention of doing so.
Glass away with impunity.
Thankyou my Leige.
or at work even.
how did this get here ?- should be higher up.
May I lob the grenade of Craig Mclaghlin’s Check 1 2 with their classic ballad Mona?
snooze you lose !
How about The Blakeney Twins? Don’t remember the song name.
The Monitors – singing in the 80’s – great song!
Benji,
I doubt that any of us would willingly “ring your bell”
Tombarina you need to collaborate with James Hunter and that master shredder of the Aldi semi-acoustic, chubbybloodfart and lay down some of this shit.
Oh, James Hunter, I recommend a name change to enhance your stage presence and my suggestion, Joaquin Hunter, has a suitably thespian ring to it. James gives every indication that you’re from Armidale – or worse still, England. Or worst of all: Queensland. My alternate recommendation is Rafael.
Oh, James Hunter…
rap is the lowest form of music.Im sure the anti bogues totally “get it” though.Makes sense.
Uppity black fellas and their rapping! Should never’ve let’m outta the missions!
Exactly. What are they even doing with microphones?
Glass the Carnts!
Thanks guys, I have nearly died laughing reading this. You guys are my FREAKING hero’s.
😀
I had a neighbour in manly who would literally rap at 3am in the morning. To my astonishment the kid was white and skinny! He was busting lines like “fuck you ho”. What does a kid who can afford to live in Manly have to be angry about?
LOL. The fact that he can only afford to live in Manly?
Fi,
could it be that he wants to get out of manly ?
LOL. A worthwhile subject of a rap, if ever I heard one.
A song by cult duo Sparks comes to mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFP4aByUfxA
Sums the phenomenon up, really, if in a showtunish sort of way.
well, i have it on good authority that the school motto of manly boys is ‘turning manly boys into manly men’ so maybe he was trying to compensate for going to a school with such a hilariously camp motto?
Pb,
sure that was not “turning Manly boys into mainly men” ?
While we are on the subject I thought I’d throw this one out there. It’s a certain classic. Before you watch, check out a movie called ‘Cool as Ice’, one of my all time fave’s…
The Down Under song. If I hear that song again I’m going to glass someone.
Does anyone find it ironic that the glasses people use on cunts are called ‘Headmaster’ which is actually printed on the glass itself…
http://pint.com.au/brewforum/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=175
Off topic, this great article in today’s HS…the first steps of the deboganisation of society has begun!! Let’s hope that it gains some momentum!!
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/short-skirts-out-manners-are-in-at-bentleigh-secondary-college/story-e6frf7jo-1225857188685
Oh now that is good news, and in my experience kids do indeed respond very favourably to boundaries and limits.
As parents many seem to have forgotten that!
Is that hope I am feeling?
Who remembers the song ‘Wonderful’ by Ja Rule, featuring a couple of other f*cktards… R Kelly I think and some slag. I used to laugh and laugh and laugh whenever I saw the film clip. Here is a sample of the lyrics to jog your memories.
If it wasn’t for the money, cars and movies stars and jewels
And all these things I got
I wonder, hey
Would you still want me?
The answer of course, is of course not.
Speaking of R Kelly, any of you kids who are not acquainted with his hip-opera need to youtube it immediately.
isn’t he the guy who was accused of raping a 14 year old?
LOL. Don’t forget the urination!
So we’re climbing Mt Crappylyric? Here’s some grabs from one of the most self-serving musical bottom-nuggets of our time:
Children grow and women producing
Men go working, some go stealing
Everyone’s got to make a living
THEN…..
I stayed grounded as the amounts roll in
I’m real, I thought I told you; I’m real, even on Oprah
That’s just me. Nothin phony, don’t hate on me
THEN…..
Love my life and my public, Put God first
Then can’t forget to stay real
It take hard work to cash checks
So don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got, now assets
…GUESSED IT YET? YES! IT’S OUR FRIEND J-LO!!!!
Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got
I’m still, I’m still Jenny from the block
Used to have a little, now I have a lot
No matter where I go, I know where I came from (from the Bronx!)
…she SO real! A real, self-referencing, self-absorbed piece of excrescence.
I thought this may have already come up but it seems it hasn’t. CHRISTIAN Hip-hop. Rapping about how much you love Jesus. All the white kids down the road do it. Apparently some ultra cool Jesus Rapper from the States came for a visit and taught them Jesus love through rap! AAAHHHHH 😦
I had no idea this genre existed. I’ve been so busy despising Christian rock (“Hey, everyone – look how gosh-darned with-it we are! Jesus is my homeboy.”) that it had honestly never occurred to me that rap could be an extension.
Don’t get me wrong – I love Christmas carols, and I sing along heartily at any wedding/christenings/funerals I’m forced to attend. But Christian rock/metal/rap/polka can jam it right up its clacker. What a try-hard, embarrassing concept.
I just threw up.
Then there’s NZ hip hop!
Awesome, Kat – hadn’t seen this! Love FOTC.
Also love this – all hail The Lonely Island.
I watched that and I…
Jizzed in my pants.
The Lonely Island have a song called, “Dick in a box” and it is also very funny indeed.
I would recommend people check it out.
Excellent reminder – that clip is hilarious.
Also worth a watch is “Cool Guys Don’t Look At Explosions”, which features Neil Diamond, JJ Abrams and the line “Mark Wahlberg is wearing a hat”.
I seriously LOVE the Lonely Island boys.
Yeah, they are seriously funny.
I remember seeing their clip one morning and rolling around in hysterics. Many laughs I have had thanks to those lads.
I will check out that song you recommended.
Cheers.
Like a boss, no doubt.
What makes On a Boat even funnier – and let’s face it, it’s da $hit from the get-go – is that something made as a pi$$take ended up as a Grammy finalist in the Best Hip Hop release category, thereby royally pi$$ing off precious little flowers like Kanye West.
Champagne stuff indeed.
Bryce (11:27:34) :
I had a neighbour in manly
On Sydney’s North Shore Manly is bogan central, although in having that particular description it runs neck-and-neck with several other North Shore suburbs. The thing about the North Shore is: they’re so undeniably ignorant they fail to see how bogan they are. Another contributing fact is many an English male makes a beeline directly for Manly on arriving in Australia. Homosexual attraction based on the suburb’s name? I think not…
Manly is kind of more northern beaches imo. It’s true, it’s a bogan cesspool, simply *not* being a westie and or ‘goin’ for a surf’ does not make you immune from being a bogan.
I grew up on the northern beaches, the only advantage is that I am more often than not tougher than the people from the north shore, the eastern suburbs or the inner west, so I can glass them without too much hassle.
Talk of Like A Bawss, On A Boat, the Hiphopopotamus and R Kelly’s adventures in creative urination is all well and good – but y’all ain’t shit if y’all ain’t hip to the Christian Side Hug.
KKK – I just watched Christian Side Hug, with lyrics. I’m not certain it’s a parody…
Please, please tell me it’s a pi$$take and we’ll call it square. Otherwise I may be forced to track down these kiddies and undertake a proper driveby.
KKK, an addendum. Extensive research (AKA google) reveals this to be for real.
It’s so $hitenhausen that even young US bolted-on happy clappers were screaming with embarrassment.
One comment: “…a bunch of white youth pastors…mixing in some gang-ish hand signals, tying on a bandana, and securing some fake bling…”
And another: “The side-hug rap comes courtesy of an annual Christian youth gathering which hopes to “bring the power, authenticity, and relevance of Jesus Christ”. This potent combination of absurd chastity and mock hip-hop will be more likely to bring them the power of a schoolyard beat-down. And it wouldn’t be unwarranted.”
Ah. This is the thread that keeps on giving.
Just thought I should let all the film nerds know I rewatched The Big Lebowski last night so I will be hip to the beat on that one.
Am I wrong?
AM I WRONG?
No Simon, you’re not wrong. You’re just an asshole. 😉
I love that movie, so funny “I didn’t fight in Nam…” MUHAHAHAHA
Shut the f*ck up Shirley.
Am I getting the hang of it?
You are. You are abiding very nicely.
Thank you, going rug shopping now.
LOL. It’d better be to replace the rug you micturated on in my study.
Fi,
So it’s Out !! Simon a serial micturater, surely you (e)gest ,or are you (doing a Ghandi) simply “taking the piss”
James, don’t let my secret leak!
Simon, you or the girls so skilled in the art can write the can turn this into a song.
something about “golden showers” to the music of “Pearly Shells” (Burl Ives)
LOL. My rug sir!
Fi, I bet it tied the room together huh?
LOL. Indeed sir! Now replace it for me.
Sure, Rugs a Million are have an importer who is in trouble and are giving 95% off their already low prices so should be able to pick up something noice for you.
LOL. Actually, you can replace it with an Afghan I can throw over a couch. Off to Afghanistan with you!
Fi,
If I were you,god forbid, I would be very careful about inviting an afgahanie into your home ,even if just to “throw him over your couch” as you so quaintly put it.
Personally I shouldn’t give a “toss” but please be carefull. Penicillian no longer fixes everything.
Bogue-beloved publication Ralph ran a competition about 10 years ago inviting readers (ne’er has the word been more loosely bandied about) to send in a photo of a rug store that WASN’T having a sale. No fire sale, no closing-down sale, no liquidation, relocation, EOFY, Easter, Ramadan sale – none.
It took 10 months for the prize to go off.
Did not pick you as a Ralph reader Tombarina.
Simon,
Tombarina may have been ” acting on information recieved ” ?
It is a good story though,
Maybe TBL could run a competition ,? Come to think on it ,
Hardly Normal,
Mainly Joyce
Domayne,
Mr Snooze,
Freedom Furniture,
Fantastic (crap) Furniture,
Dominoes Pizzas,
PetBarn
The Good Guys
Dick Smith
Coles
Woolworths
All the same one sale starts before the last one ends
Think how much cheaper goods could be without the constant barage of advertising?
I throw away the equivalent of half a phone book every couple of weeks from Junk mail that stuffs the four pages that make up the local “newspaper” Of course they are all “Rural Press” which is another Rupert tool to gouge money from the unsuspecting.
Grrrrr
Not a Ralph reader – saw it at a vet surgery.
Rural Press is actually Fairfax, not Uncle Rupert – originally majority-owned by a branch of the Fairfax family, but more recently bundled in with the overall Fairfax Media empire.
RP would rival APN as the most unashamedly advertising-focused media player around – to a truly disgraceful level, which is why your local paper is almost certainly a $hite read, chockful of barely-disguised advertorial (ie plugs), politically Conservative, and with a much higher ratio of ads-to-editorial.
Tombarina,
Thanks for putting me right.
The examples here and the ones in S.A that I was familiar with .. all the same.
absolutely crap. do anything to get an add and dont nesessarily deliver what you ask for.
The loose leaf adds that are included are twenty to thirty times the number and weight of the paper which is usually two sheets folded to give eight pages. and most of that is paid advertising as well! couple of small articles about local sport or some sensationalist dribble and that is it. No wonder the things are free. No one would pay for them and usually i transfer it from the front lawn to the wheelie bin unopened. Criminal waste of trees !
He will be hard to get through immigration though. Bring the camel as well?
LOL. I look forward to watching you attempt it on “Border Patrol”.
A.Q.U.I.S. will nail him yea!
I won’t ask why you want to throw him over the couch. What happens in the Manse stays in the Manse, however Jimmie is correct re penicillin.
mmmm…
martin (17:15:01) :
“Manly is kind of more northern beaches imo”
Manly and Sydney’s Northern Beaches are both located on Sydney’s North Shore. By which I mean both are vile and repulsive. To take a random look at the differences between Manly and, say, Lindfield, one thing is glaringly apparent: Lindfield’s attempt to undermine the Establishment adopted bone-coloured chinos and Pringle jumpers as its uniform whereas Manly went the more traditional route via an Ed Hardy and tribal tattoo ensemble. It’s mainly a generational thing, although that doesn’t stop inhabitants of either suburb glowing with smug self-satisfaction.
Oh, James Hunter, just back from marching and was wondering if you were among those onlookers positioned along Bathurst Street just outside the Duke Of Edinburgh pub? The marching ends nearby but the spectators in that part of parade are usually to oiled to do any more than shout “Good onya, mate” at anyone bearing even a slight military countenance. Very much of the people. Felt sure you’d be there…
“accent that sounded a bit like Robbo blueing with his missus”
love that
what kind of hip hop ?
LMAO what a great subject
Aussie hiphop is a better way of explaining the way life is for young Australians growing up me as an Aussie rapper. I go through unusural things in life and music helps me express and share it with the world
What the hell are you talking about Brodie?
Siege,
Suggest you get together with Peter Thornton, he would be more your type.
I present a Hip Hop show on a local community radio station and there is very little to like about Australian Hip Hop. There are some fantastic beat producers in this country and a handful of people that can perhaps demonstrate some skills on the microphone. The problem here though is the accent – the Australian accent doesn’t lend itself well to rhyming over a beat and as a result their delivery sounds staccato at best.Furthermore for some reason the content of their lyrics is very amature and for a lot (not all) of them fail to write smart lines.
I’m sorry but we can turn our attention to
“delivered in an accent that sounded a bit like Robbo blueing with his missus.”
Genius.
“chevrolet commodores which only recently announced the imminent arrival of the vengabus”
Brilliant…also “Robbo blueing with his missus” bravo….
Australian hip hop is the most ridiculous sounding crap i have ever had the displeasure of hearing. The whole aussie hip hop/rap scene brings a whole new meaning to the word wannabe. Rapping about the hard life in Australia, what a bloody joke. Live in a detroit ghetto for a month.